How Settling Deadens Individuality

settling deadens individuality

In my 19th year of coaching, I’m still amazed how few of us refuse to settle in matters of romantic love and true calling.

settling deadens individuality
xusenru / Pixabay

The two areas that are capable of giving the purest joy and fulfillment are the very life areas where we deny ourselves the most. For a good while, I also was in denial so I understand all the made up reasons that we give for not vulnerably going for what we want.

But the truth is we are individuals, wonderfully weird and wacky in ways that only we know.

Our individuality comes alive via heartfelt expression and dies when we pretend or act like we don’t care.

I’m not sure at this point where I’m going with this. You’ll probably find it to be a more personal message than usual.

At 67 years wise I know this to be true. There is nothing like the rush of whole-hearted energy when amorous feelings are offered in the full knowledge that they may or may not be reciprocated.

It’s the openness and willingness to express fearlessly that nurtures individuality. The results returned by others really don’t matter when it comes to this level of sincerity.

It’s wonderful how life really works. When we totally honor who we are in one important area we are relentlessly nudged to do so in every important area.

Presently I’m once more swimming in the delightfully engaging waters of online dating. This time around I am engaging with a fully open heart.
• No more fearful appropriateness.
• No more games with myself. (If I’m not playing them with myself I’m incapable of being disingenuous with others.)
• No more deciding on my choices based on what anyone else might think.
• No more hesitation and no more holding back, at all.

It occurred to me that my approach is also applicable to discovering and building a true-calling-based business.

The love I have (and haven’t always expressed to my clients) for courageous individuals who are open and willing to honor themselves is bubbling over my previous containers of professional restraint. It’s not a romantic love of course, but the spiritual and emotional aspects of it are remarkably similar.

In matters of love and vocation, you’re being called to enjoy something special that only you can in the way only you can.

Settling for anything less than complete fulfillment signals to the Universe that you aren’t yet ready for the full-blown blissful experience. Some of you are denying yourself true love and others of you are denying yourself true calling.

If you’re waiting for something on the outside to change before diving in – it may never come.

Readiness and right timing are both mental constructs designed to sustain your status quo. Not a bad thing if you like where you are. But if you don’t who are you kidding?

No matter how rational your caution appears to be – know that you made it up to stay in what you think is a safe place.

But caution isn’t alive. It’s deadening because it’s a lie. Caution is created only in the head and love is heartfelt.

Love is what you came here for, both vocationally and romantically. No matter what your fears and imagined restraints there is a way for you to claim what is rightfully yours.

If you really want to end the misery of settling apply here. We’ll talk it over thoroughly so you can feel the coming attraction of right livelihood or the love that comes from being adored for who you truly are. Your choice.

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